Parenting will be good, they said.

Parenting will be good, they said

“ focus more on who your child is than what your child does. Remember, you are growing a person not fixing a problem.” ~ L.R. Knost.

When it comes to parenting there is a Pandora's box of good and bad. 

We have so many insights on parenting at this day and age. Soon enough it can get confusing and frustrating.

When a child is born, they never come with a manual on how to raise this special bundle of joy. 

Today I will focus on blended families. challenges, tips and how to overcome them with simple practical examples. Whereby, demystifying the common facts and misconceptions on it about modern-day parenting.  

First and foremost a blended family is still a family by all means and they are on the rise. According to relationship experts, this trending is on the rise and attributing factors being divorce rates and remarriages. 

In the early years, the blended family will be problematic but these facts will work best if parents agree to back up each other and have general ground rules. Ideally, couples will have a hard time learning their new roles and in these case handling stepchildren. If not handled carefully, it will bring tension in the marriage in the long run.

• Sibling Rivalry. For a child who has never had a sibling before, might find it a challenge that all of a sudden there is a sister or brother. The sibling rivalry between a child and the stepchildren is bound to happen. Truth be told, children in such a setting will either feel that the other child is a threat or a nuisance. Here is the tricky part, how will the kids deal with each other? Strategy to use here is to make all the children in that household understand that this is a family within a family. Try to give equal treatment where you can even though this may be difficult. Positive attention can also strengthen the bond.
• Disciple. Discipline from a stepparent will pose as a challenge here. Children learn quickly when it comes to getting there way and can manipulate one parent to another to get there way. Create fair and effective discipline when it comes to step-families to avoid insecurity and lack of trust which will result in tension. Research has shown that children will trust you if you show fairness in discipline matters.

• Bonding Ties. In the early years of a blended family, it can be daunting. How do you create a bond as a blended family? Time together in step-families is needed to figure out the new relationship. The bond will not be formed overnight. It will take time to adapt to the normal and research has shown that it can take about two to five years for the bond to get a hold on. The process can start slowly with the beginning of family traditions. Not forgetting the most important relationship in step-families is the two adults. Set time alone with your partner to discuss the family issues, do something special like watch movies, take walks, have romantic dates etc.

Remember, it will take time, hard work to make a marriage and family happy. If you aim to have a happier, well adjusted blended family, you will make mistakes but learn from them. The results will make you become a better parent, stepparent and a spouse. 

5 Ways to Avoid Being an Overwhelmed Parent

When I pictured my child’s birth, I saw my husband holding my hand as I labored through a natural delivery. Expectations dose not equal reality. There are many difficulties in raising children in a two-parent home. Raising them alone has its own special set of challenges. For a single mom, parenting becomes hectic, stressful and demanding especially when she is under-supported and overburdened.

Here are 5 things you can do to minimize the stress in your life and bring back the joy of parenting.

1. Stay Positive

It’s easy to become overwhelmed by the responsibilities and demands of raising children single-handedly. On top of that, you may experience the pain of being left by a spouse.  Despite of all this, there is need to stay positive. This is because children are also affected by moods swings. The best way to deal with stress is to exercise, eat well, and get enough rest. In general seek a balance in your life.

2. Maintain a Daily Routine

Try to schedule family functions at regular hour so that your child knows exactly what to expect each day. For example, when its bed time, having meals, doing chores.  A consistent routine helps your child feel more secure and helps you feel more organized.

3. Make time for yourself

It’s important to schedule time for yourself. Creating personal time will give you a chance to recharge. You can do something as simple as reading a book or taking a walk also setting aside time for your self will leave you feeling rejuvenated.

 

4. Don’t be Guilty

For the sake of your well-being focus on things you do on a daily basis. All the accomplishments and all things you do to provide for your child. Instead of focusing on what you cannot do for you child, because as a single parent, you are prone to feeling guilty easily.

5. Get a Support System.

Whether it’s someone to talk to when you feel overwhelmed or watches the child when you are out doing errands, all single parents need help. Don’t be tempted to want to handle everything alone but ask for help from friends or family.

In conclusion single mothers agree that even when overwhelmed, there is usually a way to work out our problems. You will also find an incredible source of independence and strength through this situation.